Lifestyle + Parenting

Mirror, mirror on the wall

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If I’m honest, I struggle with this every day.

I’m in a constant battle with myself when it comes to my ability to live up to my full potential as a mother. I’m constantly assessing and reassessing myself and often times feeling like I fall short.

Every decision, every action, everything that I do is done with one thing in mind: my daughter. I see her watching me and attempting to be like me….but is that what I want? My insecurities, my aggressiveness, my strong will—do I want her to have those qualities?

Motherhood for me has been like a mirror—showing me a reflection of who I am as a mother, wife, daughter, and person. It’s like my daughter is constantly holding up the mirror, and I can’t help but look. Every time.

Let me tell you, parenthood isn’t for the weak of heart. As an individual who practices self-awareness and reflection often, even the best parenting books and journaling techniques couldn’t prepare me for what I see in the mirror.

This weekend, that reflection showed me a person who needs to practice more patience. It was a long day, and E wasn’t listening to me. Everything I asked her to do had to be said 3 or 4 times. It took us 25 minutes to get shoes on and leave the house because of E’s strong will (See? She got it from me). In a moment of weakness, I yelled. “PUT YOUR SHOES ON SO WE CAN GO!” I hollered this as I slammed my purse down on the counter top. In that moment, tears welled up in her sweet eyes as she put her head down and slid on her shoes. Reflection shown. And I didn’t like it.

…My sweet girl. Even in my ugliest moments, outrage and all—she still finds a place in her heart to forgive me. Every time. Because, after I realized what the mirror was showing me about myself—I kneeled down next to her and said, “I am so sorry. I am not showing you a good example of patience, and I will do better. Do you forgive me?” She did.

So, although the mirror shows me just how ugly I can be….it also shows me that I have an opportunity to change it. This weekend, I changed how I was to be seen in that reflection. To practice more patience….and forgiveness like my daughter so eagerly does every time I fall short.

This motherhood thing is hard. And I’m working every day at being better than I was the day before. I don’t think I’ll ever master it, but I’ll sure as heck try my hardest with every reflection that I see. Mommas, be aware of your mirror and what the reflection says back to you.

How do you cope with feeling like you fall short? Share some tips on how you change that reflection when you don’t like what you see. Comment below!

 

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5 thoughts on “Mirror, mirror on the wall

  1. I reflect on my own experience as a child or daughter. I remember all the tough moments I had with my own mother, her strong voice, her strict rules, and her traditional upbringing. I am thankful I had such a powerful and willful mother that showed me so much in life. Children need direction, I believe that is what separates a child from an adult. As a mother why would we want our daughters to make the same mistakes we have already made, so many are inevitable, like falling for the wrongs boys, while others are life lessons, lessons that begin at home. I too reflect on my motherly actions at the end of everyday. The moment when I stare at each one of them and either ask for forgiveness or tell them how beautiful and incredible they truly are. I express my love and thankfulness to them almost every night as they sleep peacefully in their rooms. At that moment in time I realize I am an amazing mom. A mom that makes mistakes, definitely! But, I am also a mother who can identify a mistake, and learn as you have so kindly worded it, which results in this mom becoming the best teacher my child could have.

    1. Cindy, you are a GREAT mother! Your right, those tough moments can totally become life lessons (for our children, but also us). Keep mothering the way you do, your children are a beautiful reflection of you 🙂

  2. Motherhood is not easy! In fact it’s the toughest job you will ever have. I’ve been a working mother for years and you are allowed to show frustration, feel inadequate, yell at your kids and do things for yourself without feeling guilty.
    We are human and we are going to fall short. It happens. If you parent from the heart and show your kids how much you love them, they will turn out fine. It’s always going to be a balancing act between when to be strict and when to bend the rules. There is no official rule book.
    The one thing to remember is that YOU are the parents and not the friends. You are setting the example everyday between right and wrong. Never be afraid to say no or enforce a punishment.
    Now that my kids are grown, they thank me for being strict, not allowing video games and being an involved parent. At about age 25 is when they realize, you really did know what you were doing. 🙂

  3. Im balling right now. . Reading your writing does this to me EVERYTIME.
    To your question,
    I believe we all as parents intend to teach our children to be a better individual than we could ever dream of being! I think thats our nature..
    I like to remind myself at times, i am parenting to THE BEST of my abilities. Just like my parents did as well as theirs did, so on and so forth.
    I know for a fact, when my child grows up she will have some sort of an opinion about my parenting skills. She may feel like she can do better. But that’s just it! I PRAY that my work as a mother, she will want to do BETTER for her kids. It can only get better from here (:

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